Why you?

Words by Jessica Farley

I don’t really understand why you’re the one who broke me But you get to feel so much love.

Sometimes it fills me with joy that you still can And that you do.

And sometimes it fills me with rage.

Why am I still broken? Why am I still healing? Why I am still so afraid. And you get to be at peace?

I still remember my heart skipped a beat. The way the sun felt on my skin when you loved me. I still remember holding you. Playing with you. Laughing with you. I want to feel all of that again.

With this new person. With his kind eyes And loving warm smile I want to know his fears His worries His doubts.

But I am petrified of opening up Of letting go again.

But you .. You. With your callous thoughts. Your woeful actions. You get to find your person? Your other half.

Why is that fair?

When will someone love me for all the things you didn’t? You couldn’t? You wouldn’t?

Will they ever?